This Is It. . . .

Well. This is It.

I've lost my relationship that I had built up over 8 years, a relationship where I had put my heart and soul into. It is very painful, and there's a big sense of loss to what I had built up over the years, both sides' families (We even went for holiday trips together), our mutual friends (I think just in friendster alone, can hit 70 over, omg! imagine the actual numbers), over the different crossroads of life, studying as a teenager, till army, till uni, till working life as a adult. Imagine what the two people have gone through together as a couple, being there for each other all the while.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, whom we both know, ask the same question over and over again, when we meet them: "Eh, when are the both of you getting married?" Or if we meet one, without the other, people will ask "Eh, where is your other half?" We are seen/ known as an item, without further probing, like it is some sort of default setting, lol. It isn't easy to get to that stage, and I can say I was really proud and glad it did come to that stage, proud of myself, cos it shows how much you put into maintaining friendships with each other's friends.

This relationship almost went to the next stage where it will be either engagement/ marriage. If he chose me, I would have taken it with open arms, and possibly even get married to him, despite what had happened. It may have been brought across to some/ him that I'm an unreasonable girl friend, but reflecting back, I still say I put down all my Pride and Dignity to make it work, and it seems the problem doesnt lie with me anymore. So it doesnt matter to me now whoever thought I was unreasonable.

Well, you get what you give, I hope. I believe I'll be able to find another better person in future, who is capable of cherishing me as his love, and not come to a point where, "Hey I have met another person whom I'm also very comfortable with, could this person be the one for me instead, and start to consider once again??" There will always be another someone whom you can get really comfortable with, but at the end of the road, are you comfortable with the one you're with? Why then is there a need to change? *The grass is always greener on the other side.*

*Wonders* Do it once, do it twice. -> This always happen to my customers, if you entertain their ridiculous requests once, when you should not even be entertaining in the first place, it will definitely happen again, like asking me to go back end to amend the database, just cos my ex-colleague did it for them, then they come and ask me "Why cant you do it?"

Talking about long relationships, I believe that going down the road, say 5-6 yrs in the relationship, everyone who had gone that far, would realize that its natural for the two in e r/s to be comfortable for each other and tend to take things for granted to a certain extent, and as I said, it is only natural. Its how the both make things work/ give and take, and not start to just consider another person, just for the sake of doing so. I think every couple is like this, including my parents, as I said, it is only natural.

Frankly, I do not know how long this is gonna take to heal from this, and go into another r/s. It really isnt easy, not easy at all. For this person became a major part of my life, and he really did. I was only stupid in not being more suspicious, and letting things evolve, but I will still refuse to be so suspicious over my next r/s, trust has to be given to each other, trust has to be built up.

If I do meet my next one, I'll be determined to make it work, I hope. :) I have to start all over again, it will be hard, but I pray that my next will be able to give me the support that I need, to make it work.

Thank God for letting me detect the signs during my past weeks, once again, and giving me the push factor to take the drastic measures, which is very evident, and in doing so, I hope it will make me feel better, at least now I'm doing something for myself. It takes me a LOT (our close friends can vouch to this!) to give up on a person actually, and especially more so...... if he is your loved one......