Pride.
Is pride so important to a person? I believe different people have different values of importance over certain characteristics. I came across a quote which I felt was meaningful and true:
"It's better to lose your Ego to the one you Love, than to lose the one you Love because of Ego."
This made a lot of sense to me, and I'm not shy to say that I am someone who is willing to put all pride and ego down for the one that I love. Well, why not if I find that he is worth it? I've been through it, seen it, done it, felt it. Well, I've lost all of my pride totally, but it doesn't matter. It is just another lesson learnt for me. I will pick myself up from where I fell and come back as a stronger girl.
I do not think that there should be any pride to speak of, when you are with your loved ones, whether it is your other half, or your family. Why should there be? I do not see any reason and I still cant find any.
My buddy asked me to take a tibetan test yesterday. lol. and I tried it. The results of the tests are as follows, in terms of importance: Love, Family, Career, Money, Pride.
How true. I place pride as the least important characteristic, money isn't that important to me either (so long as I've sufficient to lead a comfortable life), career is just for me to balance out my life (not that I need it so badly, but I'll always strive to make it a successful one if I'm at it), the most important is love and family. You may be all down and out, but it is these two that will stay through the hardest and darkest moments in your life, to be there for you giving the support that any human will need, to stand up again. Only with these two can you find career, money and pride. Otherwise, you're just DUST.
Appreciation.
U know.. I really hate people taking me for granted, whether it is at work, at home, or in love, friends, everything. And I feel it is appreciation that makes each other's life better? Like at work, you may not be paid so well, but with appreciation, you'll want to work for your boss willingly and put pride in your work that you do. At home and in love, you'll always do things willingly for your loved ones, but if it is not appreciated, you'll get tired one day, not that you need rewards in return, but it somehow keeps each other going so that you do not feel that you are the only one that is only giving.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Little Updates
I never had a Hakka meal outside before, even though I'm a Hakka (cos I usually have home cooked Hakka meals instead) and I ate it for the 1st time at a Hakka Restaurant, with the birthday boy, and my buddy. =P A lot of my embarassing moments were mentioned. zzz.. lol then we proceeded to The Pacific Coffee Company to chill out.. It was a great night out, with alot of 'coughs' and 'clear throats' ahem, to company it.
Today, as I was on my way to work, while waiting for the train at Hougang MRT, it seemed that someone fainted, she laid on the bench.. while the medical officers were measuring her blood pressure, etc.. She had difficulty breathing man, and looked like she was really in pain. Hope she's fine now..
And I'M SICK.. Down with flu, horrigible flu, and it becomes particularly irritating in air-con places, I cannot really breathe properly. Totally clogged up there, argh.. Been trying to stop myself from taking MC if possible, haha.. Anyway, I'm fully packed this week, so gotta catch up on my beauty sleep whenever I can.. Weekend is gonna be burnt already, and I still need to spend time to catch up on my studies.. I started studying a bit today already =x
While playing DOTA just now, it was damn hilarious, with the little arguments here & there.. Jio-ed my friend, Terence, to join Simon & JQ in our game.. and this stupid ursa in our team, kept farming non-stop, kept going to NC, while we were there pushing like mad. Reason? I not enough HP, when he has ONE heart already, and currently farming for another. zzz.. MORON.. I tried one of the new items, and the new NAIX is damn GAY.. JQ, u r very funny, cant stop laughing man..
What I Want In My Other Half:
Mature, steady, caring, gives me a sense of security, advises me what to say during interviews, gives me opinions about certain things, ambitious (not overly ambitious until it become ridiculous), trustworthy, teaches me things, gives me little surprises! woo me until I become so touched, take good care of me (physically, mentally, emotionally)..
Today, as I was on my way to work, while waiting for the train at Hougang MRT, it seemed that someone fainted, she laid on the bench.. while the medical officers were measuring her blood pressure, etc.. She had difficulty breathing man, and looked like she was really in pain. Hope she's fine now..
And I'M SICK.. Down with flu, horrigible flu, and it becomes particularly irritating in air-con places, I cannot really breathe properly. Totally clogged up there, argh.. Been trying to stop myself from taking MC if possible, haha.. Anyway, I'm fully packed this week, so gotta catch up on my beauty sleep whenever I can.. Weekend is gonna be burnt already, and I still need to spend time to catch up on my studies.. I started studying a bit today already =x
While playing DOTA just now, it was damn hilarious, with the little arguments here & there.. Jio-ed my friend, Terence, to join Simon & JQ in our game.. and this stupid ursa in our team, kept farming non-stop, kept going to NC, while we were there pushing like mad. Reason? I not enough HP, when he has ONE heart already, and currently farming for another. zzz.. MORON.. I tried one of the new items, and the new NAIX is damn GAY.. JQ, u r very funny, cant stop laughing man..
What I Want In My Other Half:
Mature, steady, caring, gives me a sense of security, advises me what to say during interviews, gives me opinions about certain things, ambitious (not overly ambitious until it become ridiculous), trustworthy, teaches me things, gives me little surprises! woo me until I become so touched, take good care of me (physically, mentally, emotionally)..
Monday, October 22, 2007
Comfort Zone
Something hit me while chatting with one of my buddies.. and the result of that?
"I Finally Know What I Want In My Other Half." I just have to start searching again and pray to God to let me find a better one in future, but I do not need one now. I'm just taking time to heal up now. =)
To be successful, you have to make right decisions. It is the Experiences that let you make right decisions. You gain experience by making wrong decisions.
So when big things start to happen, and I don't mean small arguments / fights kinda thing, then I guess it is more of a wake up call, and then make THE decision. So it really was more of the 'big thing' being the ignition of history. If you are the girl in this situation, you may be asked this qn: "It took you xxx years to know that he's not the one for you?"
My friend has a friend who was already planning the wedding with her bf, who was already into 6-8yrs of courtship together? Then like around one month before the wedding, the girl pulled out. How to react? The girl just suddenly snapped & realized that he simply just wasn't the one for him.
Actually, all along, he wasn't the perfect person for me. Not that anyone is perfect. Now it is more of "I guess he's really not the right one for me", just that I never got down to doing anything about it. I knew of it all along and I more of accepted him as he is, accepted him as the one for me, and all his flaws. Even when I had been highlighted about his flaws, I still chose to accept it, and I was even willing to spend my life with him initially. I believed everyone had their flaws ya, and nobody is perfect. However, there is a limit as to how much one can take.
Why, you might ask? For girls, we tend to want to stay in our comfort zone, once we're attached, especially if we are with our guy for a number of years. We are generally lazy to start all over again, to search all over again, to love all over again, and if we're comfortable with our guy, we tend to not even do anything about it -> Cos those are not worth breaking up about, probably too minor to even consider about breaking up. However, I know there are girls, who can foresee this very early and did something about it there & then.
Maybe it was more of a "Love Is Blind" case for me. Too blind initially, cos I'm a soft-hearted person. It takes A LOT of me to give up on someone (some can't believe how much determination I had), but time proved everything, which led to THE decision. I quote: "When I'm off, it will be off, and in one word - Forever."
I think this comfort zone thingy applies to a lot of girls, especially if the girl is already having dilemmas if this guy is the right one for her or not. It may even apply to jobs for some.
"I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel, heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late"
"I Finally Know What I Want In My Other Half." I just have to start searching again and pray to God to let me find a better one in future, but I do not need one now. I'm just taking time to heal up now. =)
To be successful, you have to make right decisions. It is the Experiences that let you make right decisions. You gain experience by making wrong decisions.
So when big things start to happen, and I don't mean small arguments / fights kinda thing, then I guess it is more of a wake up call, and then make THE decision. So it really was more of the 'big thing' being the ignition of history. If you are the girl in this situation, you may be asked this qn: "It took you xxx years to know that he's not the one for you?"
My friend has a friend who was already planning the wedding with her bf, who was already into 6-8yrs of courtship together? Then like around one month before the wedding, the girl pulled out. How to react? The girl just suddenly snapped & realized that he simply just wasn't the one for him.
Actually, all along, he wasn't the perfect person for me. Not that anyone is perfect. Now it is more of "I guess he's really not the right one for me", just that I never got down to doing anything about it. I knew of it all along and I more of accepted him as he is, accepted him as the one for me, and all his flaws. Even when I had been highlighted about his flaws, I still chose to accept it, and I was even willing to spend my life with him initially. I believed everyone had their flaws ya, and nobody is perfect. However, there is a limit as to how much one can take.
Why, you might ask? For girls, we tend to want to stay in our comfort zone, once we're attached, especially if we are with our guy for a number of years. We are generally lazy to start all over again, to search all over again, to love all over again, and if we're comfortable with our guy, we tend to not even do anything about it -> Cos those are not worth breaking up about, probably too minor to even consider about breaking up. However, I know there are girls, who can foresee this very early and did something about it there & then.
Maybe it was more of a "Love Is Blind" case for me. Too blind initially, cos I'm a soft-hearted person. It takes A LOT of me to give up on someone (some can't believe how much determination I had), but time proved everything, which led to THE decision. I quote: "When I'm off, it will be off, and in one word - Forever."
I think this comfort zone thingy applies to a lot of girls, especially if the girl is already having dilemmas if this guy is the right one for her or not. It may even apply to jobs for some.
"I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel, heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late"
Monday, October 15, 2007
Moving On Well..
I've finally cut my hair at long last, looks a bit weird though, but it is okay after doing some styling, now must know how to style and all somemore. Past few weeks, I've been spending money like crazy man, like water literally. Worst hit was when I spent $300 one shot on 5 dresses, during my Dressing Spree. LOL, but well it is to pamper myself, so why not? I have been pampering others except myself the past few months, it is time to treat myself better, and take care of myself better.
Also started using the beauty stuff that I've been buying together with Mel. =P good good! The make up class was fun also, we learn that external beauty only consist of 20%, the balance of 80% comes from within, our internal beauty. Make up can only do so much, you need to take good care of yourself well, for you to shine from within. And there were a few guys attending too. Make up is a form of respect to others.
My ACCA Budd was asking me: "Eh, have you started studying yet not?" I was like err.. Supposed to start last Sunday, but.. haha, I spent my Sunday going out and playing DOTA when I was home, cos I figured that was the only time left to practise before my match on Tuesday (that's tomorrow!) Yesterday, I was super duper busy. After work, went for ACCA, my other friend and I were like chatting about DOTA in class somemore lor. I think everyone around us could hear us talking. zzz.. He only plays in LanCraft and REFUSES to believe that I actually play on B.Net. Kept asking if I was that PRO not? Cannot isit?
I zhao during break AGAIN (Raymond happily add see sure know you zhao one), go to Suntec meet my Kor.. By the time I went home, midnight. Zzzzzzzz.. Super tired, felt dead and grumpy. I was at work at 830am somemore for Project Meeting, but I was the only one there, besides my bosses, so meeting didn't start at that time anyway. So I was like out since 745am till 12am.. What a long day. I bathed quickly and stuff, was online for awhile then dropped dead in bed like a piggy for the rest of the night..
Met Mel's good buddy and his friend, we ate at Ding Tai Feng. Nice people. Been sometime since I went there to dine already. =P Yes, this weekend I'm booked already!! Movie, and shopping and Make Up! Woohooo.. Mel came out with this term BFB - wahaha, I love this term. Only she knows, I know, and Raymond knows (So KPO lei) and Raymond, prepare to lose your bet to me bah.
My different friends have been telling me this same sentence. How coincident that they should say about the same thing to me. "joan, i love u too... as a friend. all ur friends love u. we dun hurt u in ways nt imaginable." I love you guys. *MUACKS* Past week, I've moved on pretty well. Bochap, bochap, bochap. The songs "Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5 and Apologize - One Republic" TOTALLY relates to me, like TOTALLY.. I do not have anymore energy to TELL to do what is right anymore.. How appropriate of the movie Lust, Caution to show at this time. Meant to be? Nice company I had for the movie, and a lot was censored for the movie man, but who cares..
Also started using the beauty stuff that I've been buying together with Mel. =P good good! The make up class was fun also, we learn that external beauty only consist of 20%, the balance of 80% comes from within, our internal beauty. Make up can only do so much, you need to take good care of yourself well, for you to shine from within. And there were a few guys attending too. Make up is a form of respect to others.
My ACCA Budd was asking me: "Eh, have you started studying yet not?" I was like err.. Supposed to start last Sunday, but.. haha, I spent my Sunday going out and playing DOTA when I was home, cos I figured that was the only time left to practise before my match on Tuesday (that's tomorrow!) Yesterday, I was super duper busy. After work, went for ACCA, my other friend and I were like chatting about DOTA in class somemore lor. I think everyone around us could hear us talking. zzz.. He only plays in LanCraft and REFUSES to believe that I actually play on B.Net. Kept asking if I was that PRO not? Cannot isit?
I zhao during break AGAIN (Raymond happily add see sure know you zhao one), go to Suntec meet my Kor.. By the time I went home, midnight. Zzzzzzzz.. Super tired, felt dead and grumpy. I was at work at 830am somemore for Project Meeting, but I was the only one there, besides my bosses, so meeting didn't start at that time anyway. So I was like out since 745am till 12am.. What a long day. I bathed quickly and stuff, was online for awhile then dropped dead in bed like a piggy for the rest of the night..
Met Mel's good buddy and his friend, we ate at Ding Tai Feng. Nice people. Been sometime since I went there to dine already. =P Yes, this weekend I'm booked already!! Movie, and shopping and Make Up! Woohooo.. Mel came out with this term BFB - wahaha, I love this term. Only she knows, I know, and Raymond knows (So KPO lei) and Raymond, prepare to lose your bet to me bah.
My different friends have been telling me this same sentence. How coincident that they should say about the same thing to me. "joan, i love u too... as a friend. all ur friends love u. we dun hurt u in ways nt imaginable." I love you guys. *MUACKS* Past week, I've moved on pretty well. Bochap, bochap, bochap. The songs "Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5 and Apologize - One Republic" TOTALLY relates to me, like TOTALLY.. I do not have anymore energy to TELL to do what is right anymore.. How appropriate of the movie Lust, Caution to show at this time. Meant to be? Nice company I had for the movie, and a lot was censored for the movie man, but who cares..
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Upcoming Activities
Here are some of my upcoming activities:
1. Haircut - Oh God, my hair is super duper messy. I was contemplating whether to rebond it or not, but I decided against it as I need to save some $$.
2. Celebrate parents' birthdays. Yup! Both of their birthdays are within a span of a week! Cool right?
3. Clubbing - Go to MOS with Jane Mommy & Clara maybe, and probably another clubbing session with Timothy Kor. =)
4. Make Up Class! Wahaha, cant understand why I'm going for this? My CLIENT actually asked me to join this with her. Not like I really needed it, but I just join for fun lor. Pass time also, and probably can learn something new & interesting. Will need to bring a model down on my last lesson too, should be bringing my cranky sister. LOL
5. Meet up with buddy Mel, to collect the beauty stuff that we both shared to buy together. LOL. So vain lei we 2.
6. Try to study for ACCA? LOL, I think i better get started on this soon, it is already October. Exam for my MCQ Paper is probably in Nov, the other one in Dec, at least this time, it is pretty spread out.
7. Go register for ACCA Exams with my ACCA buds.
8. Play badminton, with ZM and gang? Oei, tell me when r u organizing again lei.
9. DOTA Match with HIGH gang. Woot! Gonna use my favorite Puck Puck.
10. Shopping with Carol Tai & Jane Mommy - We spent sooo much - Hypnosis, m)phosis - 5 dresses each, omg.
11. Meet Mel's good friends for a meal & chill out session. =)
I've been wasting a lot of time on some nonsensical stuff, which is now over and done with, and I've started moving on with life.. and I MEAN what I said. I'm very firm with my decision this time and I will not look back. Yes, I am fucking heartbroken, but this does not mean being together with him will solve the problem. I guess I just need some time la, to heal up slowly, which I think I've been doing a great job so far isn't it? =P I hope so, tell me this is true.
Anyway, things have gone to such a stage similar to "Broken pieces of glass" - No matter how you try to mend the pieces back, it will never be the same again, the cracks are permanent. I made some predictions for the future, and I believe my predictions will turn out very true. 6th sense. Wahaha. Hope I can find my Mr. Right in time to come! Where are you har?!
And I strongly believe in Karma - "Don't do unto others, if you don't want others to do unto you". It doesn't have to be the exact same situation, it could be Karma in different perspectives. - In the recent saga, I felt like the worst victim ever. I ever contemplated doing something mean, but after a while, I guess I'm not that sort of person, don't wanna be a bitch. I rather keep my reputation.
Two words to sum up everything: IT'S OVER!
1. Haircut - Oh God, my hair is super duper messy. I was contemplating whether to rebond it or not, but I decided against it as I need to save some $$.
2. Celebrate parents' birthdays. Yup! Both of their birthdays are within a span of a week! Cool right?
3. Clubbing - Go to MOS with Jane Mommy & Clara maybe, and probably another clubbing session with Timothy Kor. =)
4. Make Up Class! Wahaha, cant understand why I'm going for this? My CLIENT actually asked me to join this with her. Not like I really needed it, but I just join for fun lor. Pass time also, and probably can learn something new & interesting. Will need to bring a model down on my last lesson too, should be bringing my cranky sister. LOL
5. Meet up with buddy Mel, to collect the beauty stuff that we both shared to buy together. LOL. So vain lei we 2.
6. Try to study for ACCA? LOL, I think i better get started on this soon, it is already October. Exam for my MCQ Paper is probably in Nov, the other one in Dec, at least this time, it is pretty spread out.
7. Go register for ACCA Exams with my ACCA buds.
8. Play badminton, with ZM and gang? Oei, tell me when r u organizing again lei.
9. DOTA Match with HIGH gang. Woot! Gonna use my favorite Puck Puck.
10. Shopping with Carol Tai & Jane Mommy - We spent sooo much - Hypnosis, m)phosis - 5 dresses each, omg.
11. Meet Mel's good friends for a meal & chill out session. =)
I've been wasting a lot of time on some nonsensical stuff, which is now over and done with, and I've started moving on with life.. and I MEAN what I said. I'm very firm with my decision this time and I will not look back. Yes, I am fucking heartbroken, but this does not mean being together with him will solve the problem. I guess I just need some time la, to heal up slowly, which I think I've been doing a great job so far isn't it? =P I hope so, tell me this is true.
Anyway, things have gone to such a stage similar to "Broken pieces of glass" - No matter how you try to mend the pieces back, it will never be the same again, the cracks are permanent. I made some predictions for the future, and I believe my predictions will turn out very true. 6th sense. Wahaha. Hope I can find my Mr. Right in time to come! Where are you har?!
And I strongly believe in Karma - "Don't do unto others, if you don't want others to do unto you". It doesn't have to be the exact same situation, it could be Karma in different perspectives. - In the recent saga, I felt like the worst victim ever. I ever contemplated doing something mean, but after a while, I guess I'm not that sort of person, don't wanna be a bitch. I rather keep my reputation.
Two words to sum up everything: IT'S OVER!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Happening Weekend
Had a happening weekend. Friday night was spent chilling out @ The Pump Room and One Nite Stand, after our exquisite sponsored Japanese dinner, cos someone was LATE. She can gulp 2 Singapore Slings before meeting us somemore, on an empty stomach, before meeting us. No wonder high lah, before dinner, I think the waitress also think she's crazy. Haha, wore my pretty new Mango dress, the music & Live Band @ The Pump Room was good, I enjoyed it, beginning to love R&B music more and more. =P Went with two happening ladies, haha..
Saturday. Woke up late, as usual, supposed to go to the polyclinic, but I just simply could not get up man. Got my long awaited RAM for my PC, which was moving like an uncle, not cos of the speed, but cos of the RAM, it keeps making my PC getting asthma attacks. I can finally play DOTA again without lagging anymore. All my gangs know this. LOL.
I never ate so much mooncake in my life. LOL, we were at East Coast chilling out and celebrating in advance, for Mooncake Festival - Eat mooncake, play lantern, and light up sparklers - Like small kids right?! Haha, but it was fun ok. Tomorrow is the actual day. As usual, we bought more than we should. So balance how? Play game lor and eat as forfeit.. omg.
It was some number guessing game, not so sure of the name of the game. AS USUAL, I kena bombarded again, always kena the forfeit, 5 times lor! wth?! Everytime also liddat, no matter what game. Argh. Thanks ZM & Dorine for bringing me and waiting for me.. =)
This guy, Collin, never kena forfeit at all one lei.. All of us were trying VERY hard to make him kena.. His luck too good, can still say I'm his lucky charm.. Zzzz... Then why am I so suey then?? Feels different & good, when we do stuff like this to relive our childhood moments.. The mooncakes were really sweet, got whisky, rum & raisin, green bean, etc.. Eat mooncake also got alcohol, lol. Makes you feel really thirsty lei, kept drinking & going to toilet. By the time I got home by ZM's Vios, 4am.. They can still continue giving me riddles to guess, in the car, when I'm about to knock out already, no brain cells left, still ask me to think?!.. Zzzzzzzzzzz...
Saturday. Woke up late, as usual, supposed to go to the polyclinic, but I just simply could not get up man. Got my long awaited RAM for my PC, which was moving like an uncle, not cos of the speed, but cos of the RAM, it keeps making my PC getting asthma attacks. I can finally play DOTA again without lagging anymore. All my gangs know this. LOL.
I never ate so much mooncake in my life. LOL, we were at East Coast chilling out and celebrating in advance, for Mooncake Festival - Eat mooncake, play lantern, and light up sparklers - Like small kids right?! Haha, but it was fun ok. Tomorrow is the actual day. As usual, we bought more than we should. So balance how? Play game lor and eat as forfeit.. omg.
It was some number guessing game, not so sure of the name of the game. AS USUAL, I kena bombarded again, always kena the forfeit, 5 times lor! wth?! Everytime also liddat, no matter what game. Argh. Thanks ZM & Dorine for bringing me and waiting for me.. =)
This guy, Collin, never kena forfeit at all one lei.. All of us were trying VERY hard to make him kena.. His luck too good, can still say I'm his lucky charm.. Zzzz... Then why am I so suey then?? Feels different & good, when we do stuff like this to relive our childhood moments.. The mooncakes were really sweet, got whisky, rum & raisin, green bean, etc.. Eat mooncake also got alcohol, lol. Makes you feel really thirsty lei, kept drinking & going to toilet. By the time I got home by ZM's Vios, 4am.. They can still continue giving me riddles to guess, in the car, when I'm about to knock out already, no brain cells left, still ask me to think?!.. Zzzzzzzzzzz...
Chio Bus & Yandaos
The Lucky Guy with No Forfeit.
See My Hand, Still Got Mooncake, Haven Finish.
Can Happily Serve Me Mooncake, Again.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
My Heart Is Dead.
This is the only word that I can describe my heart with - DIED, well not physically of course, otherwise, how would I still be typing here?
Seems like I have made the right decision... My feelings now. A bit loss for words, a lot of disappointment, when I found out about certain things again over the past two weeks. They are just simply a give away. To be able to do things like that right after a breakup, is just so disappointing. Protection. Respect. Care. Consideration. I realize I did not get these when I needed it, it must be told to be given.
I think ever since that fateful day of my breakup, I didn't realize it had been for a month now, I had been putting in a lot of effort to get through things, and of course, with the support of my friends and family around me, all of them. I love you guys. *muacks* At least, I have activities packed up week after week. :) if not, it will just be rest at home with family and cranky sister. LOL. My circle of friends have also widened the past month. New DOTA gang, new mahjong kakis, new clubbing friends. :)
I believe I can get through it, I'm a strong girl right? :) I had been through the worst, how much worse can it get? Time will heal all my wounds, I am actually looking forward to the month, starting the end of September, till probably end October. In the meantime, everyday will just pass in a flash. Soon, I'll gradually get rid of this habit that I currently have. It is just an addiction I must kick. Haha, my girl xiaoqing, told me that it is actually fun leading a single life. And I am currently single and available.. :) In life, nobody is indispensable, not at work, not in love, not even at home. It is just how you go about handling your problems. Life goes on...
Seems like I have made the right decision... My feelings now. A bit loss for words, a lot of disappointment, when I found out about certain things again over the past two weeks. They are just simply a give away. To be able to do things like that right after a breakup, is just so disappointing. Protection. Respect. Care. Consideration. I realize I did not get these when I needed it, it must be told to be given.
I think ever since that fateful day of my breakup, I didn't realize it had been for a month now, I had been putting in a lot of effort to get through things, and of course, with the support of my friends and family around me, all of them. I love you guys. *muacks* At least, I have activities packed up week after week. :) if not, it will just be rest at home with family and cranky sister. LOL. My circle of friends have also widened the past month. New DOTA gang, new mahjong kakis, new clubbing friends. :)
I believe I can get through it, I'm a strong girl right? :) I had been through the worst, how much worse can it get? Time will heal all my wounds, I am actually looking forward to the month, starting the end of September, till probably end October. In the meantime, everyday will just pass in a flash. Soon, I'll gradually get rid of this habit that I currently have. It is just an addiction I must kick. Haha, my girl xiaoqing, told me that it is actually fun leading a single life. And I am currently single and available.. :) In life, nobody is indispensable, not at work, not in love, not even at home. It is just how you go about handling your problems. Life goes on...
Thursday, September 6, 2007
My Poor Finger
An unfortunate thing happened to me after I left client's place.
I boarded a cab, I was carrying my laptop bag, my handbag, and an umbrella.
I proceeded to sit in, putting down the two bags, following that, I wanted to close the umbrella. Before I knew it, the door suddenly slammed the umbrella and my finger in between!!
The cab driver immediately said 'Sorry sorry'. I found it weird why he said sorry to me for?
Then I said, oh no I didnt check my umbrella.
My finger's flesh was RIPPED off and bleeding profusely. There was internal bleeding from underneath my nail. There were a lot of tiny red spots ard the area, and couldnt be wiped off, cos they were all also internal bleeding.
After 5 mins, it suddenly hit me. "How could the door close just like this?"
And it had hit me that it was actually cos he used the auto door to slam in on me! WTF! =(
I became damn pissed, cos first, I do not know if there is gonna be a fracture, and I will have a freaking scar for LIFE. Walau, this is the worst thing that can happen to a girl.
He had the cheek to ask me to pay for the cab fare! Damn it. Didnt even bother to check if I was doing ok, cos I was really in pain in the cab. This kinda people dont deserve any mercy.
So I decided to make a complaint, thanks to Mommy who helped me send it out, the next day, the cab company called me up and said they will send me a fruit basket today, haha. Plus she told me to keep all my medical receipts as the Insurance Company will call me up soon. (I hope, if not I'll go back to haunt her)
My threshold for pain is quite high actually, think some of my friends can testify to this. And I cried, cos it hurts so much, and I wished for someone to care for me then. *upset*
Hee, yesterday, I zhao class early again, during my break. And on the way home, wahaha, then I saw Vincent & the Jap looking guy (dunno what is that guy's name) whom I got to know just the last weekend @ Zouk. Cute leh.
Vincent: "Joan!"
Me: *turns head around* Hmm?! Eh hi!! So qiao?
Vincent: "Where you going now? What you doing here?"
Me: "Home lor. Haha I was at class actually, then I zhao!! LOL. So what are you guys doing here?"
Vincent: "Haha, eh we are actually going to Zouk later. You wanna come too?"
Me: "Siao ah, look at how I dress."
Vincent: "U go home and change. Set, see you later at Zouk. Bye bye."
Me: *LOL?*
I met Xueling and Junrong also, have not seen them in ages.. Like since graduation.. And they are gonna get married next year! And I'm going to be one of her 'jie mei' lor. Wahaha..
I boarded a cab, I was carrying my laptop bag, my handbag, and an umbrella.
I proceeded to sit in, putting down the two bags, following that, I wanted to close the umbrella. Before I knew it, the door suddenly slammed the umbrella and my finger in between!!
The cab driver immediately said 'Sorry sorry'. I found it weird why he said sorry to me for?
Then I said, oh no I didnt check my umbrella.
My finger's flesh was RIPPED off and bleeding profusely. There was internal bleeding from underneath my nail. There were a lot of tiny red spots ard the area, and couldnt be wiped off, cos they were all also internal bleeding.
After 5 mins, it suddenly hit me. "How could the door close just like this?"
And it had hit me that it was actually cos he used the auto door to slam in on me! WTF! =(
I became damn pissed, cos first, I do not know if there is gonna be a fracture, and I will have a freaking scar for LIFE. Walau, this is the worst thing that can happen to a girl.
He had the cheek to ask me to pay for the cab fare! Damn it. Didnt even bother to check if I was doing ok, cos I was really in pain in the cab. This kinda people dont deserve any mercy.
So I decided to make a complaint, thanks to Mommy who helped me send it out, the next day, the cab company called me up and said they will send me a fruit basket today, haha. Plus she told me to keep all my medical receipts as the Insurance Company will call me up soon. (I hope, if not I'll go back to haunt her)
My threshold for pain is quite high actually, think some of my friends can testify to this. And I cried, cos it hurts so much, and I wished for someone to care for me then. *upset*
Hee, yesterday, I zhao class early again, during my break. And on the way home, wahaha, then I saw Vincent & the Jap looking guy (dunno what is that guy's name) whom I got to know just the last weekend @ Zouk. Cute leh.
Vincent: "Joan!"
Me: *turns head around* Hmm?! Eh hi!! So qiao?
Vincent: "Where you going now? What you doing here?"
Me: "Home lor. Haha I was at class actually, then I zhao!! LOL. So what are you guys doing here?"
Vincent: "Haha, eh we are actually going to Zouk later. You wanna come too?"
Me: "Siao ah, look at how I dress."
Vincent: "U go home and change. Set, see you later at Zouk. Bye bye."
Me: *LOL?*
I met Xueling and Junrong also, have not seen them in ages.. Like since graduation.. And they are gonna get married next year! And I'm going to be one of her 'jie mei' lor. Wahaha..
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
Damn Happy.
I'm damn happy last night, very very happy..
I keep smiling non-stop =) =) =P
And wow, there are people around the world who have really cool dance moves for that song. =)
Baked my clay yesterday!! Yippee!!
The moment I stepped into office, I kena suan-ed by Hwee Leng, wah someone today feels very hot, need to turn down the air-con temperature. lol. and my hair today, lol..
Last Night... I Couldn't Even Get An Answer...
I keep smiling non-stop =) =) =P
And wow, there are people around the world who have really cool dance moves for that song. =)
Baked my clay yesterday!! Yippee!!
The moment I stepped into office, I kena suan-ed by Hwee Leng, wah someone today feels very hot, need to turn down the air-con temperature. lol. and my hair today, lol..
Last Night... I Couldn't Even Get An Answer...
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Love. Angel. Music. Baby.
HEAR THIS UPDATED VIDEO!! =P
This song has a super cool beat and it rocks my house..
I want the MP3 for this!!! Someone please??... *winks*
This video is a bit 'delayed', but the best version I could find. Sobz.
If I Told You Once,
I Told You Twice
You Can See It My Eyes
I'm All Cried Out
With Nothing To Say
Your Everything I Want It To Be
If You Could Only See
Your Heart Belongs To Me
I Love You So Much
I'm Hurting For Your Touch
Come And Set Me Free
Forever Yours I'll Be
Baby Won't You Come
And Take This Pain Away
***
And You Need Me
This Is So Plain To See
And I Would Never Let You Go
And I Will Always Love You So...I Will
If You Could Only See
Your Heart Belongs To Me
I Love You So Much
I'm Hurting For Your Touch
Come And Set Me Free
Forever Yours I'll Be
Baby Won't You Come
And Take This Pain Away
***
This song has a super cool beat and it rocks my house..
I want the MP3 for this!!! Someone please??... *winks*
This video is a bit 'delayed', but the best version I could find. Sobz.
If I Told You Once,
I Told You Twice
You Can See It My Eyes
I'm All Cried Out
With Nothing To Say
Your Everything I Want It To Be
If You Could Only See
Your Heart Belongs To Me
I Love You So Much
I'm Hurting For Your Touch
Come And Set Me Free
Forever Yours I'll Be
Baby Won't You Come
And Take This Pain Away
***
I Need You
And You Need Me
This Is So Plain To See
And I Would Never Let You Go
And I Will Always Love You So...I Will
If You Could Only See
Your Heart Belongs To Me
I Love You So Much
I'm Hurting For Your Touch
Come And Set Me Free
Forever Yours I'll Be
Baby Won't You Come
And Take This Pain Away
***
Super Lun Zhun..
I'm not known as a Sotong for nothing.
On Tuesday night, I told myself remember to bring my notes for my class on Wednesday in the morning. True enough, in a rush, I forgot to bring it out of my house yesterday morning. *sigh* My only hope was Jean, if she was coming to town, she could pass it to me.
LOL, ok she really did come to town in the evening, passed it to me, so I went for class, I had already bought my dinner, then I realized the usual classroom was occupied for another module? Hmm, then I checked with the lady there, err, there is no class today?! *walau* So I went home loh, waste my time & money on transport and food, wth. If this is not Lun Zhun, I dont know what it is..
Spent time doing Clay Lentils all night!! =) I'm gonna post pictures of our creations soon after it has been baked. Woohoooooooooo.. Its so fun doing it lah.. Haha.. Keep rolling, rolling, rolling...
I dont know why when I drink, my face becomes damn red, and I mean REALLY RED. *wonders* We dropped by Brussels Sprout for a beer, wahaha, the bartender's name very cute - VERT. Carol cannot remember his name easily at first, so just think of the word "pervert" can liaoz. LOL. And he shine his torchlight directly on my face to see how 'red' my face is, and he cant believe why my face can become so red.. I just happily blamed it on my genes. LOL.
Jane Mommy also very vain now lor, highlight, necklace and your DKNY watch, walau damn chio. Hee, actually, we cannot bring in outside food, but since got birthday, nvm la. The power of ladies. They even served us plates for our mini birthday cake celebration. Really forgot to take pictures, damn it. What a waste. I think we were creating a lot of noise down there and scared the whole crowd away. =P
Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY once again to Carol & Jane Mommy!! =) One year older already, please behave ok..
On Tuesday night, I told myself remember to bring my notes for my class on Wednesday in the morning. True enough, in a rush, I forgot to bring it out of my house yesterday morning. *sigh* My only hope was Jean, if she was coming to town, she could pass it to me.
LOL, ok she really did come to town in the evening, passed it to me, so I went for class, I had already bought my dinner, then I realized the usual classroom was occupied for another module? Hmm, then I checked with the lady there, err, there is no class today?! *walau* So I went home loh, waste my time & money on transport and food, wth. If this is not Lun Zhun, I dont know what it is..
Spent time doing Clay Lentils all night!! =) I'm gonna post pictures of our creations soon after it has been baked. Woohoooooooooo.. Its so fun doing it lah.. Haha.. Keep rolling, rolling, rolling...
I dont know why when I drink, my face becomes damn red, and I mean REALLY RED. *wonders* We dropped by Brussels Sprout for a beer, wahaha, the bartender's name very cute - VERT. Carol cannot remember his name easily at first, so just think of the word "pervert" can liaoz. LOL. And he shine his torchlight directly on my face to see how 'red' my face is, and he cant believe why my face can become so red.. I just happily blamed it on my genes. LOL.
Jane Mommy also very vain now lor, highlight, necklace and your DKNY watch, walau damn chio. Hee, actually, we cannot bring in outside food, but since got birthday, nvm la. The power of ladies. They even served us plates for our mini birthday cake celebration. Really forgot to take pictures, damn it. What a waste. I think we were creating a lot of noise down there and scared the whole crowd away. =P
Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY once again to Carol & Jane Mommy!! =) One year older already, please behave ok..
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Laugh
I laughed to myself non-stop, and I'm sort of having the runs today. Argh. First, it was Melvin's dream that made me laugh damn hard (until my stomach damn pain lor), followed by stupid simon's interpretation of the dream.
This one, I have only myself to blame, lol:
Flying Baby....:
carol asked if u wanna fish for a whale?!
acid burn ~ Toni:
fish?!
for wat? guys?
Flying Baby....:
u too slow... not fun lah..yr frequency always off!!!!
acid burn ~ Toni:
lol
acid burn ~ Toni:
sorry
i saw fish for a while
LOL
Flying Baby....:
KNS!!!
acid burn ~ Toni:
lol
lol
wahahaha, what is WRONG with me?! Initially, I really thought she meant "fish for a while". I was thinking why on earth would she want to go fishing for awhile first before going out?! OMGOMGOMGOMG.
Ok, stop laughing at me now. Stop it. *bleah*
This one, I have only myself to blame, lol:
Flying Baby....:
carol asked if u wanna fish for a whale?!
acid burn ~ Toni:
fish?!
for wat? guys?
Flying Baby....:
u too slow... not fun lah..yr frequency always off!!!!
acid burn ~ Toni:
lol
acid burn ~ Toni:
sorry
i saw fish for a while
LOL
Flying Baby....:
KNS!!!
acid burn ~ Toni:
lol
lol
wahahaha, what is WRONG with me?! Initially, I really thought she meant "fish for a while". I was thinking why on earth would she want to go fishing for awhile first before going out?! OMGOMGOMGOMG.
Ok, stop laughing at me now. Stop it. *bleah*
Monday, August 27, 2007
Busy Weekend
Friday
It all started with Friday night, had dinner followed by DOTA (just 1 game, and I was the leaver as well, cos started LATE loh, and then had to rush off), then watched the movie - HairSpray! LOL! Nice show! Some people found it draggy, but I thought it was pretty nice, Link was sooo damn cool and cute. Haha, Jane mommy wanted me to go drink with her with e rest, but my movie ends late lah. Sorry! Next round k? =) Thanks ZM for organizing it with the Settlers' gang. =)
Saturday
Went for some Pilates trial session, followed by shopping at Future State and Watson's again, omg! This is not good, not good at all.. Burnt a further hole in my pocket. Zzzz....... Ate with my mama for dinner! Been such a long time since I last visited her already. Her Peranakan food rocks! Authentic good stuff! At night, had further 4 hour DOTA session with new gang, humkia and the rest, till 3am loh.. Thanks for asking me to join in. My Dark Seer and Morph not bad hor.. DBL KILL ok. Jio me for more games k? :P
Sunday
My client asked me out, for bowling and she sure had A LOT of friends. omg. I was shocked when she asked me out for bowling actually. She introed me her husband, her cousin & family, her good fren, her make up artist, her sec school friend. OMG. And I got to know a few new people, no time to get to know all of them. Realized the power of networking, all looked forward to seeing me again during the next outing. Yippee! Bowling score: 99, same as my client. So Qiao. Following that, I went for a movie - Blood Brothers. Dont bother watching it..
Realization
I realized that regarding what had happened, my friends only heard from my point of view, only heard what I said, nobody heard from his viewpoint. And so far, I think he had never spoke bad about me. I think. So, I'm probably not as good as what you guys think.
*There are always two sides to a coin.*
Friends
I was glad that during the past weekend, there were friends who kept me company, and gave me calls to see if I was doing ok. Thanks guys for all your support. Appreciate it. =)
Mummy asked me a weird question in the car, and I'm still feeling shocked from it.
It all started with Friday night, had dinner followed by DOTA (just 1 game, and I was the leaver as well, cos started LATE loh, and then had to rush off), then watched the movie - HairSpray! LOL! Nice show! Some people found it draggy, but I thought it was pretty nice, Link was sooo damn cool and cute. Haha, Jane mommy wanted me to go drink with her with e rest, but my movie ends late lah. Sorry! Next round k? =) Thanks ZM for organizing it with the Settlers' gang. =)
Saturday
Went for some Pilates trial session, followed by shopping at Future State and Watson's again, omg! This is not good, not good at all.. Burnt a further hole in my pocket. Zzzz....... Ate with my mama for dinner! Been such a long time since I last visited her already. Her Peranakan food rocks! Authentic good stuff! At night, had further 4 hour DOTA session with new gang, humkia and the rest, till 3am loh.. Thanks for asking me to join in. My Dark Seer and Morph not bad hor.. DBL KILL ok. Jio me for more games k? :P
Sunday
My client asked me out, for bowling and she sure had A LOT of friends. omg. I was shocked when she asked me out for bowling actually. She introed me her husband, her cousin & family, her good fren, her make up artist, her sec school friend. OMG. And I got to know a few new people, no time to get to know all of them. Realized the power of networking, all looked forward to seeing me again during the next outing. Yippee! Bowling score: 99, same as my client. So Qiao. Following that, I went for a movie - Blood Brothers. Dont bother watching it..
Realization
I realized that regarding what had happened, my friends only heard from my point of view, only heard what I said, nobody heard from his viewpoint. And so far, I think he had never spoke bad about me. I think. So, I'm probably not as good as what you guys think.
*There are always two sides to a coin.*
Friends
I was glad that during the past weekend, there were friends who kept me company, and gave me calls to see if I was doing ok. Thanks guys for all your support. Appreciate it. =)
Mummy asked me a weird question in the car, and I'm still feeling shocked from it.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Couldn't Control The Tears
Tears just rolled down uncontrollably this morning, when I sent an sms to my Mummy. I thought I was handling it good all the while, then this morning ... Mummy asked me to go home for dinner today, but I dont want, cos I will start thinking when I get home. But I still think that overall, I am coping very well with it, so hey, give me some credit & encouragement on this k.
I was very angry last night for a moment, when I got to know about something. Lies. Why LIE, is there even a need to, even at this moment? I hate Liars, I really do. Admitting is one thing after that, but why lie in the first place? *Am I That Hard To Understand?*
On impulse, I made a call, it didn't get through. Then I stood back and think, "Why should I even bother getting so affected about it?" It made no sense to me now, so I just tried ignoring it and literally tried throwing my emotions away and concentrate on sleeping instead... and I did, and started dreaming again... Zzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Met up with some of my ex-colleagues yesterday, at some high-class Italian restaurant. All asked me if I'm doing okay or not, and what happened? I knew them very well, sure LATE ONE. LOL. Wanted to go Makansutra, then rain leh. Heng, we had not started eating yet. haha...
Talk talk talk, then got to know my ex-boss actually sent regards to me, I was like "Wow, thanks!" Nice to hear, felt good. Then they told me eh, heard ex-boss got tell me some 'theories' ah last time, I was like ya lo ya lo, so I explained the theory that he told me last time, during my ACCA exam study period haha... He and his theories, well I'm not surprised, he came up with a patented methodology, so I do respect him for that.
Result of meeting up: Talking talking, walking walking, shopping shopping, and I came home with 2 new pairs of Charles & Keith shoes, that woman la, drag me inside, then say "eh you sure you dont want to see see is it? got 30% leh." zzzzzz... actually I dont wanna buy one lor, I've been spending too much. *purposely tempt me* I bought more shoes than her somemore. zzzzzzz........
If any of my friends are reading this bloggie, just flood my comments below this if you wish to.. All are welcome! =)
I was very angry last night for a moment, when I got to know about something. Lies. Why LIE, is there even a need to, even at this moment? I hate Liars, I really do. Admitting is one thing after that, but why lie in the first place? *Am I That Hard To Understand?*
On impulse, I made a call, it didn't get through. Then I stood back and think, "Why should I even bother getting so affected about it?" It made no sense to me now, so I just tried ignoring it and literally tried throwing my emotions away and concentrate on sleeping instead... and I did, and started dreaming again... Zzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Met up with some of my ex-colleagues yesterday, at some high-class Italian restaurant. All asked me if I'm doing okay or not, and what happened? I knew them very well, sure LATE ONE. LOL. Wanted to go Makansutra, then rain leh. Heng, we had not started eating yet. haha...
Talk talk talk, then got to know my ex-boss actually sent regards to me, I was like "Wow, thanks!" Nice to hear, felt good. Then they told me eh, heard ex-boss got tell me some 'theories' ah last time, I was like ya lo ya lo, so I explained the theory that he told me last time, during my ACCA exam study period haha... He and his theories, well I'm not surprised, he came up with a patented methodology, so I do respect him for that.
Result of meeting up: Talking talking, walking walking, shopping shopping, and I came home with 2 new pairs of Charles & Keith shoes, that woman la, drag me inside, then say "eh you sure you dont want to see see is it? got 30% leh." zzzzzz... actually I dont wanna buy one lor, I've been spending too much. *purposely tempt me* I bought more shoes than her somemore. zzzzzzz........
If any of my friends are reading this bloggie, just flood my comments below this if you wish to.. All are welcome! =)
Thursday, August 23, 2007
This Is It. . . .
Well. This is It.
I've lost my relationship that I had built up over 8 years, a relationship where I had put my heart and soul into. It is very painful, and there's a big sense of loss to what I had built up over the years, both sides' families (We even went for holiday trips together), our mutual friends (I think just in friendster alone, can hit 70 over, omg! imagine the actual numbers), over the different crossroads of life, studying as a teenager, till army, till uni, till working life as a adult. Imagine what the two people have gone through together as a couple, being there for each other all the while.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, whom we both know, ask the same question over and over again, when we meet them: "Eh, when are the both of you getting married?" Or if we meet one, without the other, people will ask "Eh, where is your other half?" We are seen/ known as an item, without further probing, like it is some sort of default setting, lol. It isn't easy to get to that stage, and I can say I was really proud and glad it did come to that stage, proud of myself, cos it shows how much you put into maintaining friendships with each other's friends.
This relationship almost went to the next stage where it will be either engagement/ marriage. If he chose me, I would have taken it with open arms, and possibly even get married to him, despite what had happened. It may have been brought across to some/ him that I'm an unreasonable girl friend, but reflecting back, I still say I put down all my Pride and Dignity to make it work, and it seems the problem doesnt lie with me anymore. So it doesnt matter to me now whoever thought I was unreasonable.
Well, you get what you give, I hope. I believe I'll be able to find another better person in future, who is capable of cherishing me as his love, and not come to a point where, "Hey I have met another person whom I'm also very comfortable with, could this person be the one for me instead, and start to consider once again??" There will always be another someone whom you can get really comfortable with, but at the end of the road, are you comfortable with the one you're with? Why then is there a need to change? *The grass is always greener on the other side.*
*Wonders* Do it once, do it twice. -> This always happen to my customers, if you entertain their ridiculous requests once, when you should not even be entertaining in the first place, it will definitely happen again, like asking me to go back end to amend the database, just cos my ex-colleague did it for them, then they come and ask me "Why cant you do it?"
Talking about long relationships, I believe that going down the road, say 5-6 yrs in the relationship, everyone who had gone that far, would realize that its natural for the two in e r/s to be comfortable for each other and tend to take things for granted to a certain extent, and as I said, it is only natural. Its how the both make things work/ give and take, and not start to just consider another person, just for the sake of doing so. I think every couple is like this, including my parents, as I said, it is only natural.
Frankly, I do not know how long this is gonna take to heal from this, and go into another r/s. It really isnt easy, not easy at all. For this person became a major part of my life, and he really did. I was only stupid in not being more suspicious, and letting things evolve, but I will still refuse to be so suspicious over my next r/s, trust has to be given to each other, trust has to be built up.
If I do meet my next one, I'll be determined to make it work, I hope. :) I have to start all over again, it will be hard, but I pray that my next will be able to give me the support that I need, to make it work.
Thank God for letting me detect the signs during my past weeks, once again, and giving me the push factor to take the drastic measures, which is very evident, and in doing so, I hope it will make me feel better, at least now I'm doing something for myself. It takes me a LOT (our close friends can vouch to this!) to give up on a person actually, and especially more so...... if he is your loved one......
I've lost my relationship that I had built up over 8 years, a relationship where I had put my heart and soul into. It is very painful, and there's a big sense of loss to what I had built up over the years, both sides' families (We even went for holiday trips together), our mutual friends (I think just in friendster alone, can hit 70 over, omg! imagine the actual numbers), over the different crossroads of life, studying as a teenager, till army, till uni, till working life as a adult. Imagine what the two people have gone through together as a couple, being there for each other all the while.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, whom we both know, ask the same question over and over again, when we meet them: "Eh, when are the both of you getting married?" Or if we meet one, without the other, people will ask "Eh, where is your other half?" We are seen/ known as an item, without further probing, like it is some sort of default setting, lol. It isn't easy to get to that stage, and I can say I was really proud and glad it did come to that stage, proud of myself, cos it shows how much you put into maintaining friendships with each other's friends.
This relationship almost went to the next stage where it will be either engagement/ marriage. If he chose me, I would have taken it with open arms, and possibly even get married to him, despite what had happened. It may have been brought across to some/ him that I'm an unreasonable girl friend, but reflecting back, I still say I put down all my Pride and Dignity to make it work, and it seems the problem doesnt lie with me anymore. So it doesnt matter to me now whoever thought I was unreasonable.
Well, you get what you give, I hope. I believe I'll be able to find another better person in future, who is capable of cherishing me as his love, and not come to a point where, "Hey I have met another person whom I'm also very comfortable with, could this person be the one for me instead, and start to consider once again??" There will always be another someone whom you can get really comfortable with, but at the end of the road, are you comfortable with the one you're with? Why then is there a need to change? *The grass is always greener on the other side.*
*Wonders* Do it once, do it twice. -> This always happen to my customers, if you entertain their ridiculous requests once, when you should not even be entertaining in the first place, it will definitely happen again, like asking me to go back end to amend the database, just cos my ex-colleague did it for them, then they come and ask me "Why cant you do it?"
Talking about long relationships, I believe that going down the road, say 5-6 yrs in the relationship, everyone who had gone that far, would realize that its natural for the two in e r/s to be comfortable for each other and tend to take things for granted to a certain extent, and as I said, it is only natural. Its how the both make things work/ give and take, and not start to just consider another person, just for the sake of doing so. I think every couple is like this, including my parents, as I said, it is only natural.
Frankly, I do not know how long this is gonna take to heal from this, and go into another r/s. It really isnt easy, not easy at all. For this person became a major part of my life, and he really did. I was only stupid in not being more suspicious, and letting things evolve, but I will still refuse to be so suspicious over my next r/s, trust has to be given to each other, trust has to be built up.
If I do meet my next one, I'll be determined to make it work, I hope. :) I have to start all over again, it will be hard, but I pray that my next will be able to give me the support that I need, to make it work.
Thank God for letting me detect the signs during my past weeks, once again, and giving me the push factor to take the drastic measures, which is very evident, and in doing so, I hope it will make me feel better, at least now I'm doing something for myself. It takes me a LOT (our close friends can vouch to this!) to give up on a person actually, and especially more so...... if he is your loved one......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Atom Feed (xml)