Joanie Is A Brave Girl.

I was talking to my Fiona babe for 3 whole hours regarding this little confusion I had in my heart. I was curious, I actually went to browse my history, I CHAT WITH HIM EVERY SINGLE DAY AND NIGHT, without fail. The moment he comes on, or I come on, he'll initiate a conversation with me, and my heart will beat just by seeing him, hor Fiona, u know what I mean.

I wanted to write about yesterday's meetup with him, but I think I shall just skip the details lah. It was a good luncheon, and nothing short of happiness and laughter, again. I was very happy, put it simply. You know, it is very difficult to find someone who can make your heart beat. Before meeting, we still continued sms-ing each other. haha, cant get enough of each other?

Anyway, back to the topic. Why am I a brave girl?
I did the BRAVEST THING IN MY LIFE, which all my friends applauded me for, and were shocked, when I told them about it:

I PROFESSED MY FEELINGS TO HIM.

I can't believe to this day, how brave I was. I was actually afraid that he might run away. That would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I do not want to lose a good friend, who comforts me when I'm down, who cheers me up when I am sad, who makes me laugh when he knows I'm emo. This is the first time I did this to ANYONE in MY LIFE, when everyone else was like "Huh? U sure or not?" But Fiona encouraged me to go ahead, I had to do it (and she understood why), if not I'll just fall deeper in love with him every single day, with higher hopes with each passing day. With 0 hopes, comes 0 disappointment.

He was [pleasantly] surprised, but I think he might have guessed it already. =P cos of the way he spoke to me before I professed to him. I really like him A LOT, though I've met guys and stuff along the way recently, NONE of them had touched my heart like he did, NONE of them had chemistry with me like he did.. Experiencing all these adrenaline once again, is a really wonderful feeling.

Hee, I like my man whose English is powderful, dialects also power, his cheena haha, but some of his phrases that he mentioned, I don't even know it myself lor. Bluff me one. He says his humour works on me so much, cos I always respond correctly for his immediate comebacks. =P Others probably didn't get it, or just simply can't be bothered. It's probably the latter. LOL.

Well, we are still as close as brudder and sista. =) It was mainly to get it off my chest, I knew what the result would be, and I've gained a brudder at the end of the day, which is good, I really do not want to lose such a great friendship. I am NOT a person who LEAVES REGRETS for herself, which was how I handled my previous r/s, leave NO regrets for myself, and I will not ever regret that path I took. Moreover, he isn't selfish like others are, to keep me by his side, while he's unsettled. I'm so glad he handles things properly, even Fiona agrees with me totally, applaud him for the way he handled the situation. He said he felt that was the right thing to do.

At least I can move on, searching for another, though my heart is still longing for him, a tear rolled down my cheek, I slept through the night, with only thoughts of him. It doesn't matter, I shall let it be, until another new someone comes along. =) I'm still loving every day and every other day. Remaining positive! At least for 2008, I have no horrible anxiety, no mental torture, which DESTROYS my health. I'm SO glad.